Vodka and Ghandi

I’m hiding in my bathroom. I haven’t hid in my bathroom in a long, long time, but right now, I am in the middle of three moves, two mortgages, three houses in various stages of rental and sale, building works, tenancy agreements and furnishing contracts AND HIGH SCHOOL APPLICATIONS and honestly, nothing but major tears is getting me out of the peace of my bathroom right now.

What was that?? There was a major crash. Wait for it, wait for it…yep, the wail of injury. Seriously?? Right now?? I must abandon my inner haven of a toilet closet for the yells of blood, I’m sure.

Yes, there was blood and tears and cuts and tears. Little one, who
never wears shoes unless he’s in school, and that’s with serious bribery, has stubbed his big toe for the hundredth time and it’s cut down to the nail. He defies the notion that if your child can learn from hurting themselves (by not wearing shoes) then the next time he will choose to wear them. Nope, skateboarding will never require shoes for this guy. So, where was I? Hiding peacefully as the world whirls around me in detail after detail of very important matters. I got a call today and it was from a removals company. It was in the morning and I actually had to ask them what country they were calling from. They thought I was insane. I feel like I am a bit insane at the moment.

Husband and I have bought a house after a five minute viewing from him – I went back four times – and a thirty second commercial break conversation in the middle of his crazy Friday afternoon work day negotiating how high we were willing to go financially before the weekend closed. Assuming that we lost the house in multiple offers, my sister Nancy, who is my amazing broker, and I had gone over every reason why the house was not quite right and all the negatives a girl could think of to make the situation feel better. It was seriously like ‘I didn’t like that guy anyway’ kind of talk. Feeling much better, I left to get pizza for the masses of boys at home. I came home to the phone ringing. It was Nancy. ‘What are you doing?’ “Holding three pizzas,” I replied. “Well, put them down cuz you’ll need to…you got the house.” What???????? What about the mulitples?? What have I done?? I have seen my husband for ten minutes in the last three weeks and with one nod between us, I bought us a house!

I poured Vodka. Lots of it. I couldn’t tell the boys as they had friends over and two out of the four hadn’t yet seen the house. It was going to be a family decision and experience. I texted Husband. He said ‘in twenty’. Sister and I have said everything and then some. So I had to wait. What the heck have I just done?? I drank the Vodka in one. Pacing up and down my kitchen, I fed boys pizza and began to sweat. I couldn’t tell them in front of friends and without all of them having seen the house. I had to fake my craziness. I began to sweat. I know that big decisions can be made in any given moment, but truthfully, I had rolled big dice here without total consideration and was praying I ended up on the winning side.

So now, with the dealings of renting London, selling Santa Monica and buying in the Palisades, I feel like I’m hovering somewhere up above it all laughing at all the stress I’ve caused. I will engage soon enough with all of it, but for now, I can’t quite believe any of it. There are times in life when chaos takes over and you just have to give in to it; where big decisions are made and you’ve plotted and planned how to take it all on. I have subconsciously and now consciously manufactured all of this change and I have to believe it is for a reason. The new house has a yurt (look it up, I had to) and I will now finally have a place to have my femme circles. The house is near Lake Shrine, Paramahansa Yogananda’s spiritually tranquil temple along Sunset Blvd where some of Ghandi’s ashes are buried and one of my most favourite spots in LA.

I have definitely shaken up things here. Maybe it’s because we are here longer than planned and it was all too… too…easy?? And no, this does not mean that we are now here forever as that phrase means nothing to me.

One last note…a HUGE congratulations to my amazing illustrator as she was a bride last weekend:) All love.

About Jennifer

Jennifer is from Beverly Hills and has lived between London and LA since 1994. She's been a writer for over 20 years in the world of film, tv, travel and magazines and has been a class rep eight times and counting... She has just completed her first novel, Venerdi.
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